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The 13 Most Common Errors on a Novel's First Page

boazpriestly:

  • Over-explanation. This includes prologues. “Prologues are never needed. You can usually throw them in the garbage. They’re usually put on as a patch.”
  • Too much data. “You’re trying to seduce your reader, not burden them,” Friedman said.
  • Over-writing, or “trying too hard.” “We think the more description we add, the more vivid it will be; but we don’t want to be distracted from the story” we open the book for.
  • Beginning the novel with an interior monologue or reflection. Usually this is written as the thoughts of a character who is sitting alone, musing and thinking back on a story. Just start with the story.
  • Beginning the novel with a flashback. Friedman isn’t entirely anti-flashback, but the novel’s opening page is the wrong place for one.
  • Beginning a novel with the “waking up sequence” of a character waking, getting out of bed, putting on slippers, heading for the kitchen and coffee…a cliche
  • Related cliche: beginning the novel with an alarm clock or a ringing phone
  • Starting out with an “ordinary day’s routine” for the main character
  • Beginning with “crisis moments” that aren’t unique: “When the doctor said ‘malignant,’ my life changed forever…” or “The day my father left us I was seven years old…”
  • Don’t start with a dialogue that doesn’t have any context. Building characterization through dialogue is okay anywhere else but there.
  • Starting with backstory, or “going back, then going forward.”
  • Info dump. More formally called “exposition.”
  • Character dump, which is four or more characters on the first page.

killofthenightvale asked:

oOoOoOoh do you have any Wolfstar ideas about James setting them up?

queerminho:

sooooOOOOooOOOoOO many

  • James realizing in fourth year that Sirius never talks about girls or about anyone really and he kinda asks Sirius about it and Sirius just shrugs 
  • James asking Remus why he was with Lily all the time and getting jealous and Remus is just laughing like “trust me she’s not my type” and james is just like “what’s that supposed to mean????” 
  • James going to Peter about this and Peter just rolls his eyes like “jfc they’re queer okay how thick can you be”
  • James trying to process this new information and trying to set them up like leaving them alone in the room or suggesting that Remus should tutor Sirius in Charms and leaving them alone or sending Remus chocolate with a card signed with Sirius’ name
  • James, after making sure Remus is okay in the hospital, leaves with Peter so that Sirius is alone with him after the full moon
  • James insisting that he and Peter partner up for Potions so that leaves Remus and Sirius together and he’s just smiling like an idiot as Remus and Sirius sit super close together, Sirius guiding Remus with how to stir the potion correctly,  Remus wiping a stain off Sirius’ shirt even when he can totally just use magic and james is just there like i am such a genius this is totally working i am so good at this oh they owe me big time
  • James walking into the dormitory to find Remus sitting between Sirius’ legs, lying back against his chest, asleep, as  Sirius reads and James is like so fucking ecstatic like “JFC CONGRATS YOU GUYS I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T TAKE THAT LONG OMG SO HOW DID YOU GUYS REALIZE YOU HAD TOTAL HARD ONS FOR EACH OTHER YOU KNOW THIS IS MY DOING I’VE BEEN HELPING YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER FOR LIKE A MONTH NOW THANK ME, PADFOOT” and sirius just stares at him like “james we’ve been shagging for like half a year now but yeah thanks for letting us use the dormitory for a month and those chocolates were fantastic too but if you don’t mind, please stop screaming my boyfriend is trying to sleep”
  • James doesn’t talk to them for a week

huntinghorrocruxes:

Okay but I mean imagine

• Sirius wearing leather jackets and ripped skinny jeans and combat boots.

• Remus wearing sweaters and baggy jeans and sneakers.

• Sirius being seen with a cigarette between his lips more often than not and always having a faint stubble on his chin.

• Remus always smelling of soap and scrunching up his nose when either James or Sirius lit up a smoke.

• Sirius practically never studying or handing in homework but somehow always getting top marks on all of his classes. (The asshole)

• Remus probably being the smartest wizard of their year but still working till ungodly hours and always having ink stains somewhere in his persona.

• Sirius listening to The Clash and Pink Floyd and the Sex Pistols and Queen.

• Remus listening to the Beatles and Elton John and Abba.

• Sirius always having his tie undone and at least three buttons of his shirt propped open.

• Remus always having a perfectly made tie and his shirt buttoned all the way up.

• And yet Sirius was the one who always brought Remus flowers and wrote him poems and hummed romantic lyrics in his ear.

• And Remus was the one who slammed him against the corridor’s wall leaving him as a panting, whimpering mess as Remus winked and casually left to Charms.

(Because Sirius thought he was punk rock but he really really wasn’t)

  • DC:

    Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-

  • Marvel:

    YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS

  • DC:

    We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.

  • Marvel:

    HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE

  • DC:

    The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.

  • Marvel:

    DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER

  • DC:

    After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.

  • Marvel:

    PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW

  • DC:

    We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...

  • Marvel:

    NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.

  • DC:

    We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.

  • Marvel:

    NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM

  • DC:

    We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.

  • Marvel:

    FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO

  • DC:

    Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-

  • Marvel:

    NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK

  • DC:

    Wait-

  • Marvel:

    NEW FEMALE THOR

  • DC:

    I didn't-

  • Marvel:

    NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA

  • Marvel:

    TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE

  • Marvel:

    PEACE

See, Rowling largely operates Harry’s generation in a clear system of parallels to the previous generation, Marauders and all. Harry is his father—Quidditch star, a little pig-headed sometimes, an excellent leader. Ron is Sirius Black—snarky and fun, loyal to a fault, mired in self-doubts. Hermione is Remus Lupin—book smart and meticulous, always level-headed, unfailingly perceptive. Ginny is Lily Evans—a firecracker, clever and kind, unwilling to take excuses. Draco Malfoy is Severus Snape—a natural foil to Harry, pretentious, possessed of the frailest ego and also deeper sense of right and wrong when it counts. And guess what? Neville Longbottom is Peter Pettigrew.

Neville is a perfect example of how one single ingredient in the recipe can either ruin your casserole (or stew, or treacle tart, whatever you like), or utterly perfect your whole dish. Neville is the tide-turner, the shiny hinge. And all because he happens to be in the same position as Wormtail… but makes all the hard choices that Pettigrew refused the first time around. Other characters are in similar positions, but none of them go so far as Neville. None of them prove that the shaping of destiny is all on the individual the way he does.
Emily Asher-Perren (via margaerystyrells)

(Source: nathanielstuart)

missmartian23:

misha-parked-the-tardis-in-221b:

the-little-lost-angel:

thenotoriousscuttlecliff:

theenigmaofriversong:

wintersoldier-iscoming:

when someone mentions marvel

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When someone mentions Doctor Who

image

When someone mentions Sherlock

image

Im waiting…

When someone mentions Supernatural…or doesn’t, either way

image

When someone mentions Megamind

image

When someone mentions whales around Dani

image

scamdal:

you want more aus? i’ll give you more aus

  • met standing in the reallllllly long queue for the dressing rooms au
  • lifeguards at a summer camp au
  • you’ve been playing guitar in the hall of the hotel since three in the morning and i came down to tell you to shut the fuck up au
  • the 5 cent hug for charity you offered me on the street really brought out our amazing chemistry au
  • awkward teenage spin the bottle/seven minutes in heaven au
  • dungeons and dragons au

chasexjackson:

i blame this

__

‘I suppose we could stay here for a bit longer,’ she mumbled, tangling her fingers into his hair.

Teddy rubbed his nose against her collarbone and tugged her closer. Despite it being three o’clock in the afternoon, the room was dim with only a small amount of light spilling through the gaps in the curtains. Teddy and Victoire were nestled in the warmth of the bed; rumpled sheets and pillows lay underneath them as they curled together, finding a moment alone away from the madness of Victoire’s family.

‘Although,’ she mumbled, shifting her arms around his neck, ‘mama will be bursting into the room at any moment, I’m sure. Or papa, or James, or—’

‘Victoire,’ Teddy mumbled as he tilted his chin up, ‘try and enjoy the moment. We don’t get them that often.’

Read More

Remember that intimate conversation you had with your son? The one where you said, “I love you and I need you to know that no matter how a woman dresses or acts, it is not an invitation to cat call, taunt, harass or assault her”?

Or when you told your son, “A woman’s virginity isn’t a prize and sleeping with a woman doesn’t earn you a point”?

How about the heart-to-heart where you lovingly conferred the legal knowledge that “a woman doesn’t have to be fighting you and you don’t have to be pinning her down for it to be RAPE. Intoxication means she can’t legally consent, NOT that she’s an easy score.”

Or maybe you recall sharing my personal favorite, “Your sexual experiences don’t dictate your worth just like a woman’s sexual experiences don’t dictate hers.”

Last but not least, do you remember calling your son out when you discovered he was using the word “slut” liberally? Or when you overheard him talking about some girl from school as if she were more of a conquest than a person?

I want you to consider these conversations and then ask yourself why you don’t remember them. The likely reason is because you didn’t have them. In fact, most parents haven’t had them.

The Conversation You Must Have With Your Sons | Carina Kolodny  (via albinwonderland)

What’s scary is that you KNOW the majority of young men receive the OPPOSITE kinds of messages both from their parents and the culture around them. And then people are surprised or defensive when a so-called “good” guy takes advantage of a women. And excuses are made to make her at fault, rather than blaming the perpetrator and all those who taught him for his entire life that what he did wasn’t really wrong. Rape culture is a cycle, and education like that shown above is what can help break it down.

(via misandry-mermaid)

and it’s not just excuses made; it’s the complete lack of empathy towards a rape victim. it’s the endless news programs that talk about the rapists’ bright futures and how awful this must be for them and their family while shoving rape victims under the carpet so that we can pretend they don’t exist. they can literally post pictures and videos of the rape on the internet, and all we go is, ‘oh son, be more careful about what you put in public for people to see.’

(via starforged)

(Source: iamnotafeministtbh)

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